How to Consecrate Your Family to the Holy Family (Or at least how we did it . . .)

Last Advent, I went to confession at my parish's Advent penance service. While giving my penance, the priest gently suggested that I consider consecrating my family to the Holy Family.

When he said that, I just smiled. It was one of those moments in confession when you feel quite sure God is speaking through the intuitions of the priest, as he recognizes and acknowledges something rooted in you that exists much further down than any of the words you uttered through the screen.

In an instant, my consideration both began and swiftly ended in favor of the priest's suggestion.

When I returned home, Joe quickly jumped on board. On January 10th, the Feast of the Baptism of Our Lord, we consecrated ourselves at the dinner table, and now, for the Solemnity of Saint Joseph, Husband of Mary, during the Year of Saint Joseph, I want to share with you how we went about beginning our consecration so that, if you feel so nudged and inclined, you can see the fruits of it in your life, too.

Why consecrate yourself to the Holy Family?

A consecration is a particular kind of devotion or commitment to the Lord, either directly, or through saints who desire nothing else but to lead you to Him. I think of consecration kind of like a marriage. Before our consecration to the Holy Family, we had relationships with Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, but on our consecration day we started a new kind of relationship with a greater and more formal level of commitment to it.

The intent of this consecration is to give yourselves over to the Holy Family, to receive direction and grace to live your vocation well, to love with a love like theirs, and ultimately to reach Heaven. Who can help us know and love Jesus better than himself, his Mom, and his earthly Dad?

The beautiful thing about a consecration is that, like a marriage, it is lifelong. We have entrusted ourselves to the Holy Family, and, like the most faithful of spouses, they will hold us in their hearts all our lives long, lending help both quietly and powerfully throughout all the ups and downs of our futures. Even if we don't "hold up our end of the bargain" in seasons to come, their perfectly loving souls will hold up theirs. It is important, though, to take the commitment to your consecration seriously, to give it the time and attention that any good relationship needs to be fruitful.

For families especially, as we have already seen in these three months, this consecration can be a means through which you are better able to complete the daily demands of life with the mysteries of the Lord at the center, instilling a simple rhythm of family prayer that can form your hearts to be more in tune with what lifts, breaks, and swells the heart of Christ.

I don't really know if God is calling you to consecrate yourself or your family to the Holy Family at this moment in time, but like the priest who encouraged me, I encourage you to consider it. By no means has our consecration already perfected us or the rough edges of our lives, but we have already seen much fruit.

How do you do it?

After coming home from confession that day, I did a quick google search for "consecration to the Holy Family." There are many resources out there with some ready-made consecration prayers, but no, one specific formula.

Generally, a consecration has two parts: an initial act of consecration after some time of preparation, and a daily "renewal" of some form.

We decided to write our own consecration prayer and pray it on December 27, the Feast of the Holy Family.

But "the best laid plans" as the saying goes. . . December 27th came and went in the bustle of holiday plans, and no prayer was written. We set a new date for January 6th, Epiphany, and then that date came and went, too. We set a new date for January 10th, the Baptism of the Lord, and when dinner came on that day, Joe practically yelled an improvised prayer of consecration over the hungry cries of our 6-month old while our two-year-old snuck bites of food off his tray.

As we ate our dinner after the hectic prayer, I wondered, dismayed, whether it had even "worked." It wasn't what I had envisioned as I sat in the quiet church after my confession weeks before.

But it was probably exactly what the Holy Family expected. They know about dinner with babies and toddlers. Heck, they know us—Joe, Lily, Ollie, and George Burr, with all our charms, quirks, and faults. Yep, on January 10th, we Burrs consecrated ourselves to the Holy Family.

That initial act of consecration through prayer is essential, and when we renew our consecration in the future, I hope we'll write a prayer we can come back to again and again. But in the end, the consecration is a commitment to a relationship, with real people on the receiving end of your prayer—not some machine that needs all the right buttons pushed. And what's more, it's just the beginning of a relationship, for where we've seen the most fruit is in the daily aspects of our consecration that have knitted the fabric of our lives right into that of the Holy Family's each day.

After your initial consecration, you might formally renew your consecration in a similar way one year, five years, ten years, or however often in the future.

What does the consecration look like in daily life?

Before our initial act of consecration, we decided on three things that would perpetuate the consecration in everyday life. They are the tangible acts we've committed to in order to consistently work on our relationship with the Holy Family:

1. A "Flying" Liturgy of the Hours (Prayers at Meals and Bedtime)

The Liturgy of the Hours is the prayer of the Church—set combinations of psalms, Scripture readings, and intentions that revolve with the seasons and celebrations of the Church, prayed morning, day, evening and night by religious, priests, and lay faithful around the world. Both Joe and I have prayed the Liturgy of the Hours during different seasons of our lives—and neither of us can imagine praying all of them during the season of life we are in right now. When we discussed our consecration, the idea of a "flying" Liturgy of the Hours seemed just right. We take the canticles from Morning, Evening, and Night prayer, and add in the traditional noontime prayer, "The Angelus," and pray these before every meal and at bedtime. You can find these prayers linked below.

At breakfast we praise the goodness of the Lord over our bowls of cereal and yogurt, declaring our mission to prepare the way for Him in the world in the words of Zechariah, who held his newborn son John and burst forth with his Canticle.

At lunch we pray the Angelus and speak of God's Incarnation and the perfectly wonderful reality that Jesus dwells among us in the Eucharist. We pray to be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

At dinner, we repeat Mary's own words in her Magnificat, instilling in our minds and hearts that it is in our littleness that God can do great things.

And at bedtime we pray Simeon's prayer that he spoke as he held the Baby Jesus in the Temple, declaring that God's word has been fulfilled in our day, and asking for His peace as we go to our rest.

Our almost-three-year-old has simply astounded us, as children do, in his ability to remember these prayers, and we're working on adding actions to go with the words. We've found actions really engage him in the prayer, help him to understand its meaning, and even instill the prayers more in our own hearts. Besides we're Catholics—let's use our whole bodies to pray!

2. A Nightly Decade of the Rosary (Joyful Mysteries)

After the kids are in bed, Joe and I pray that night's portion of the rosary. We start with the opening prayers on Sundays, the five mysteries on each day of the week, and the closing prayers on Saturday. With dishes and other household tasks still to do, and one of us in grad school, we found this a very doable commitment, plus it allows us to devote more mental space to one mystery of the rosary at a time.

We decided to stick with the Joyful Mysteries for the entire first year: The Annunciation, The Visitation, The Nativity, The Presentation of Jesus in the Temple, and The Finding of Jesus in the Temple. These events have so much within them to reveal the reality of the daily lives of this little family in Nazareth. It's a simple practice that, when repeated 52 times throughout the year, I hope will leave us with a more intimate understanding of these three individuals and their life together. As the ending prayer of the Rosary states: " . . . that by meditating on these mysteries of the most holy rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, that we may imitate what they contain and obtain what they promise . . ."

3. Acceptance and attention to knowledge of the Holy Family put in our way

This one is more loosely defined, but we wanted to commit ourselves to learning details of the Holy Family's members and life, or more accurately, we wanted to commit ourselves to an openness to receiving knowledge of them that they themselves wanted to share. This goes back to the reality that this consecration is a relationship, and Jesus, Mary, and Joseph take an active role in building and maintaining it.

Often in the Church we refer to the "hidden life" of the Holy Family—those years completely skipped over in Scripture and tradition between Jesus's presentation as a baby and the finding of Jesus in the Temple at the age of twelve, and then again the "hidden" years before the beginning of his ministry at the wedding in Cana.

To be frank, as parents of babies and toddlers, these years were of the most interest to us. We decided to trust the Holy Family to reveal to us these years in their own way, and in a way that would help us live our own life as close to theirs as would be good for us.

So far in our experience, this has looked like:

- Reading a new book about St. Joseph (St. Joseph and His World by Mike Aquilina)

- Responding to a prompting to be more intentional and knowledgeable about the products we bring into and put out of our house

(That second one might need a quick explanation. This sort of out of nowhere became a concern of mine, and when I took it to prayer, I had this thought about Mary treating Jesus's diaper rash and turning to other women in the village to find the right homemade formula for his delicate little skin. In short, for us I guess, part of becoming more like the Holy Family is in being knowledgeable about the amount and kinds of things in our home, as well as approaching our possessions and creation from a posture of gratitude. Maybe I'll write another blog post about that some time!)

In the future, or for others, it might also look like:

- Meditating on the Gospels or other parts of Scripture

- Joining a Bible or book study on themes related to the Holy Family

- Responding to promptings, like the one above, that I can't imagine or foresee!

Alright, Lil, let's wrap this up. Hopefully this quickly laid-out jumble-of-thoughts gives you a starting place to consider consecrating yourself and your loved ones to the Holy Family. In these three months, it has probably done more for our movement closer to God as a family than anything has in our four years of marriage. All praise and thanks be to God! If you want to learn more or have questions, comment or message me (if on Facebook, I'll respond after Lent!)